Mantienes las cosas seguras y estables porque piensas en los pasos correctos a seguir. Solo ofrece a la gente una opción cuando los orientes hacia algo, explica por qué importa cada paso, y comprueba cómo se sienten antes del siguiente.

Aplicando esto a hablar sobre daño sexual infantil: Consejos de nuestros recursos

Ofrécete a buscar instituciones y servicios de apoyo juntos/as

Sometimes in the event of sharing such a traumatic story of abuse, the survivor might not know what is best for them, or what sort of help they need. Take the time to offer to look for counselling services with them, or charities in the local area that could help. They might want support with taking up a new hobby, like sport or gardening, as a way to distract themselves from the abuse. If they are going through the legal and justice system, offer to take copies of emails between all the different services so that they have a paper trail to help in court. So much of the legal and justice system can be extremely overwhelming and so offering to take some of the administrative tasks off of the survivor's plate can really help them to focus on the important parts of disclosing their story.

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DOs and DONTs: Talking about Institutions

No obligues a los/las jóvenes a tomar decisiones

While you may have research responsibilities to fulfil, or deadlines to meet, ensuring that young people have control and autonomy over their own decisions throughout the research is vital. Give them the space and control to decide how they engage and participate, including the ability to opt out or pause their participation.

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Research with Young People

Conviertes el cariño en acción: una comida, un plan, el recurso adecuado encontrado rápido. Antes de ponerte a solucionar, pregunta qué tipo de ayuda quiere realmente la persona, y está bien si la respuesta es ninguna.

Aplicando esto a hablar sobre daño sexual infantil: Consejos de nuestros recursos

Recuérdale a la persona que tiene capacidad de decisión diciendo "decidas lo que decidas, lo voy a respetar"

Instead of telling the person what they should and shouldn't do, actually remind them that they are in control and have choice. Help them to understand that their autonomy will be respected by other people; that disclosure is theirs, including: who they want to say it to, whether they want to report it to the police or not, whether they want help with their mental health, or whether they just want to sit with it for a bit before even making a decision.

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DOs and DONTs: Talking with British Asians (Cultural Sensitivity)

No ofrezcas soluciones sin contexto

Often, out of shock or horror or disgust, people want to fix a problem and offer options to the survivor, but that might not be a possible angle for them. For example, the police are a very loaded institution in a lot of Black cultures due to systematic racism, so asking a Black man why they haven't gone to the police may dismiss generational trauma around how police have historically treated Black men in the UK. Take time to understand the person's challenges and what sorts of support they might need.

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DOs and DONTs: Talking with Black Men about Childhood Sexual Abuse

Tu calma evita que el pánico se apodere de todo y da a todos espacio para pensar. Acompáñala con un rápido "estoy aquí, solo necesito un momento" para que nunca se perciba como distancia.

Aplicando esto a hablar sobre daño sexual infantil: Consejos de nuestros recursos

Recuérdale a la persona que puede elegir qué detalles compartir. Por ejemplo: "Si ahora mismo no estás preparado/a para hablar de este detalle, sigamos esta conversación cuando te sientas listo/a"

A conversation about child sexual abuse doesn't have to be the ONLY conversation about childhood sexual abuse. Handle different elements at different times, based on what feels appropriate. For example, if someone is telling a person about the abuse for the very first time, it might feel overwhelming to suddenly start asking about police and court processes. Instead ask them about what part of the abuse they would like to have a talk about and that can help you to have a more supportive and focused conversation.

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DOs and DONTs: Responding to Disclosures

No trabajes completamente solo/a

Sometimes, working in the third sector can feel isolating. When we're under-staffed, under-resourced and under-funded it can feel like it's every woman for herself, but we are stronger when we support and reinforce one another's work. Try to join a community or charity group.

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Working in the Childhood Sexual Abuse Sector